More than forty years after being bullied for being gay at high school, I can still remember the fear, shame and desperation it created. Growing up gay in 1983, as the AIDS crisis was emerging, intensified a belief that something was fundamentally wrong with me. This is not a story about blaming the people who bullied me. It is about what bullying can leave behind, how shame can become internalised, and how the need to prove our worth can shape a life long after the school corridors are gone.
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Constantly saying “I’m sorry” can appear caring and considerate, but when apologies become automatic, they may point to anxiety, people-pleasing, poor boundaries, conflict avoidance or deeper relationship patterns. This article explores why excessive apologising can become a red flag, what may be driving it, and how to distinguish genuine remorse from an apology cycle that prevents accountability, growth and healthier communication.
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